


"Home" Is Where My People Are

by pencilguin



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Michael loves her crew so much, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilguin/pseuds/pencilguin
Summary: [spoilers for S3x01]“Tell me about your crew.”She throws a glance over at Book and sees him looking at her, smiling that little sidelong smile of his that’s been her comfort so many times over these past weeks. It always makes her cheeks glow with warmth.“What do you wanna hear?”
Relationships: Cleveland "Book" Booker & Michael Burnham, Cleveland "Book" Booker/Michael Burnham, Michael Burnham & Crew of the Starship Discovery, Michael Burnham & Hugh Culber, Michael Burnham & Paul Stamets, Michael Burnham & Saru, Michael Burnham & Sylvia Tilly
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	"Home" Is Where My People Are

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Book, and he's so good for Michael. Also Michael and her spaceship family deserve all the love in the universe. <3 
> 
> This is unbeta'd so I apologize for any mistakes. I've also never written Book before, and not a lot of Michael's POV. I hope they both came out okay here.

“Tell me about your crew.”

She throws a glance over at Book and sees him looking at her, smiling that little sidelong smile of his that’s been her comfort so many times over these past weeks. It always makes her cheeks glow with warmth.

“What do you wanna hear?”

“You think about them a lot, I can tell.” He tilts his head a bit. “What do you think about, when you do?”

Michael casts her eyes down as she considers the question. The smile doesn’t disappear from her lips, but it fades into a shade more solemn than before.

“How much I wish I could see all of their faces. Hear their voices. Just… go about our day together, side by side.” She sighs almost inaudibly and leans against the back of the bench they’re sitting on before she continues. “Tilly — my roommate — she would nudge me to try the new breakfast dish on the replicator menu and then order two or three shots of espresso, depending on when she got into bed the night before. Some of her long, red curls would always fall into her face, and I usually catch them before they dip into her cereal bowl. When she’s not talking a mile a minute about the latest engineering project she’s working on with Paul or Jett, or summarizing the scientific article she read about the other night then…” Her voice briefly catches. She takes a breath before continuing. “Sometimes she tells me a story about her grandma, or about her favorite cake, or…”

Michael swallows, pausing again. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Book watching her patiently.

“She just loves talking about her feelings. I admire her for it.” She really can’t help that she’s smiling again.

“Sounds like a great friend,” Book says softly in response.

“Yes.” Without her realizing it, the word almost comes out as a whisper.

Book gives her a long look in silence. “Who else?” he nudges after some time.

Michael sighs and takes another sip from her flask before she responds. “I miss Saru. Our First Officer — I guess he’s the Captain now. He should be. He’s good at this… We met on the Shenzhou, over eight years ago. He was like a brother to me when… when my own brother was out of the picture. I miss his advice, his perspective. I miss having friendly arguments with him, and surprising him with a bowl of blueberries in his quarters when he’s had a bad day. His quarters…” She looks up and gazes into the distance, smiling to herself at the memory: the feel of the clear, cool, humid air in his little biotope far from home, a pocket of Kaminar’s fauna far out in space, rich with the gentle, sweet scent of lush red Fredalia blossoms. “You would love them. They’re overgrown with plants from his home planet, Kaminar, like a wild and beautiful garden. One time I went to _him_ for comfort, and we just sat on the bed under that canopy of vines and branches, me with my head on his shoulder and his arm around me until I drifted off to sleep, and I’ve never felt so peaceful as when I woke up the next day.”

The corners of her mouth seem locked into place now, pressing into her cheeks in a smile so comfortable that she could wear it for a lifetime. The temperature aboard Book’s ship is always set to perfect comfort levels, but under the thin, soft fabric of her shirt sleeves Michael feels herself shiver just the slightest bit at the memory of the cool air in Saru’s quarters.

“They’re good people. Your crew.”

Michael looks up to meet Book’s eyes and her smile brightens. “The best. Every single one of them. Even Philippa —” She freezes for a second. _Georgiou_. That one will always be a two-edged sword, won’t she? The smile falters, but only almost entirely. It’s easy to compare her to _Captain_ Philippa Georgiou, but deep inside Michael knows that even the former Emperor is not as bad as she likes to think she is.

She shakes her head and mutters, “Nevermind.”

Book is eyeing her curiously, and for a moment he looks ready to press further, but then decides to let it go.

Michael lets her mind wander. “Paul… I wonder if he’s okay. He’s lost so much in the time that I’ve known him… You know how sometimes you find friendship in the most unexpected places?”

Book cocks a grin. “You mean like shooting a man out of the sky in your time traveling rocket suit?”

“Ha ha,” she snarks at him. But she’s grinning too. “Our first meeting was a little… icy, and I can’t even say I blame him. But our friendship was forged by the fire of life-or-death missions, and some unexpected match-making on his part…” Michael revisits those memories, even the painful ones, like a lover’s grave. She may have moved on, but a place in her heart will always exist that belongs to Ash. She takes a moment to gather herself before continuing. “It didn’t work out, unfortunately, and we both were hurt in the process. I feared, at times, beyond repair. But somehow, in the corners of the ship that were remote enough from everyone else to grieve in peace, we found each other again.” She hesitates, unsure how far to open up to this man who was a complete stranger to her only a couple of weeks ago. Then she decides to go on. “I guess there’s no recipe for how to deal with the man you loved killing the man your friend loved. But we found comfort in each other. He showed me that it can be a human thing too, to wear a hard shell to protect your soft heart, and how to open that shell and let other people in.”

She pauses, getting lost in thought. Book is still silent, but listening attentively. Grudge meows in the corner, gets up, turns around in her bed a few times and then lies down again, eyes closed.

“I think I saw Hugh return from the Enterprise before I left the ship. He… I hope he won’t regret his choice. This whole new life he’s got… I hope he didn’t just feel an obligation to me. I hope he followed his heart. The war has taken its toll on all of us, and that doesn’t even begin to cover what he went through…” She looks up at Book, something oddly like a smile hanging on her lips at the seeming absurdity of what she’s about to tell him. Will he believe her? “He died, you know? And then came back to life.”

Unsurprisingly, Book’s eyebrows fly up. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely. It was like… witnessing a miracle.” Her face and her voice turn somber. “But we also learned that miracles come at a price. And yet, when I think of him, I think of his smile. How can anyone go through hell twice and still smile like that?”

“You tell me,” Book comments. Michael looks up, and she feels heat creep into her cheeks which, in turn, casts that tiny little smile onto Book’s face that she’s grown especially fond of. She chooses not to respond to that.

“From the first day I met him he was kinder to me than anyone had been since my sentence. When he did my medical exam on the Discovery I wasn’t sure if he knew who I was, what I’d done. I had gotten so used to glares of contempt that the absence of any judgment was a shock to me. I instantly knew that I could trust him, and he’s never let me down.”

After a pause she looks up at Book again, wondering what he might be thinking. He’s lounging on the bench, elbow propped up on the back, watching her.

“That’s probably all not very interesting to you.”

“It is, actually.” He hesitates before gently adding, “I can see why you miss them.”

“We’ve been thrown into this strange time, and all we have is each other for a reminder of home. I’m worried if they’re okay…”

“They’re resourceful. I’m sure they’ll be.”

Leaned forward and looking up at him again, Michael can’t help but smile.

“That they are. If any crew can make it, then I know mine will. If they’re out there — and I refuse to consider the alternative for as long as I can — they are looking for a way to find me. So the best I can do, the _only_ right thing is for me to do the same.”

She recalls their faces when they came to her in the corridor, telling her they’d be going with her to the future. All of the faces on the bridge, saluting her for her sacrifice. The faces full of grief at Airiam’s funeral. Suddenly there’s a lump in her throat.

“I miss sparring with Gen, and lunch with Linus. Game nights with Ron and movie nights with Owo. Sitting and talking with Nhan in the observation lounge. Talking to Keyla about — about our time on the Shenzhou and our missions with Georgiou. I miss —”

She can’t go on; a sob breaks from her throat.

“I miss them all so much…”

As she leans forward with her whole body shaking, Book is suddenly right there, placing one hand on her back and with the other gently taking the flask from her that she’s been clutching too tightly. She buries her face in her palms, with her elbows on her knees.

“They’re my family, Book… they’re all the family I’ve got…”

“Shhh…” Book makes a soothing noise and starts rubbing her back. It’s the greatest comfort she’s felt since she arrived here. “I’m sorry you’re hurting. But you’ve been holding in these feelings for so long. It’s time to let them out.”

Michael nods. She knows he’s right, knows that Tilly and Hugh and Amanda would all be telling her the same. She may have gone through hell and back repeatedly and survived every time. But why does this still feel like the one thing that’s more than she can bear?

After a stretch of silence Book calmly says, “I’m not your crew, but I can be your friend. You’re not completely alone here.”

Michael looks up at him with tear-blurred eyes. As she’s come to expect, there’s nothing but sincerity on his face. She sniffles, undignified but not caring, and nods. Her voice is still cracked and shallow when she speaks. “I know.”

“I’m gonna help you find them in any way I can.” Book smiles, and it’s infectious.

“Thank you.”

He finishes the rubbing motions of his hand with a little pat on her upper back. “Do you wanna call it a night?”

“Yes… that sounds good.”

He gets up. “Great. Then get some rest. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Michael wipes a hand over her face, but it ends up just smudging everything more rather than cleaning it up. “You reckon I can take a shower without your cat attacking me again?”

Book laughs. “I’ll try to distract her with cuddles until you’re done.”

**Author's Note:**

> Who else is excited for the upcoming book about their adventures?


End file.
